


So Bless Me Anyway

by crppldgaywriter



Series: To be Blessed and Broken [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Angels in America - Kushner
Genre: Chronic Illness, HIV/AIDS, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 11:24:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12364695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crppldgaywriter/pseuds/crppldgaywriter
Summary: Andrew is dying of AIDS in 1980. Kevin leaves him because he can't cope and Andrew falls in love with his nurse who is Neil. Its the Tony Kushner play Angels in America adopted with the characters from Nora Sakavic's book series All for the Game.





	So Bless Me Anyway

“First of all, you call now. Radio silence for months just to tell him this.  No, you don’t get to talk to him. He doesn’t need this. No, don’t call again. Goodbye, sir.” **  
**

Andrew’s head was pounding but the corner of his lips quirked almost in a smile. Nicky was shaking as he hung up the phone. But Andrew felt pride swell in his chest, even if he’d rather carve out his liver with a spoon than ever let Nicky know. He’d be insufferable. But Luther was a cancer. A bigoted nasty oozing sore of a person and Nicky was better off without the bastard in his life as far as Andrew was concerned. But the hazy feeling in his head felt way too familiar so who knows if this affectionate nonsense was organic. Oh, boy did he hate being medicated.  

Andrew’s eyes were still closed, he wasn’t quite ready to open them yet. His mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton and his limbs felt heavy. He didn’t hear the coward. He’d bet the fucker was hiding. Maybe with a bottle.  Andrew said he didn’t want to go to the fucking hospital and he meant it dammit. Passing out or not, it was still his choice. Not that the coward ever listened to Andrew.

“Open your eyes, Mr. Minyard, we know you are awake.” A voice Andrew didn't recognize. Probably a new nurse. It always took awhile for him to care enough to figure out their names. Unamused, he opened his eyes.

”My name is Neil and I’ll be your nurse for today. How are you feeling?” Neil continued. He looked like a model. Wearing dumb scrubs that were at the very least two sizes too big and with a face and hands full of scars. It was incredibly unfair that a man with knife scars down one cheek and a puckered burn under his eye on the other had a face this attractive. And he was asking how Andrew was feeling. No, this was not how today was going to go.

“Hiya Neil. Are you sure you’re my nurse? Who let you out of the burn unit?  Did you steal those oversized scrubs from them? Naughty, naughty. They don’t like it when you get out of your bed.” Andrew smiled sharply, letting his voice bounce up and down in a parody of how it sounded all those months ago. Andrew firmly believed that when life gave you the absurd the only reaction you can give it is an absurd one back. Neil smiled back just as sharp.

“No, not a patient anymore. See the burns all healed,” the nurse said gesturing to his cheek with his burned hands. His eyes laughed as he said it like he was almost amused at Andrew’s lack of tact. ”So how are you feeling?” Neil continued undeterred by Andrew’s games. How was Andrew feeling? Andrew didn’t feel. Feeling went away to fight in the war and never came home as far as Andrew was concerned.

“Just peachy.” Andrew wanted Neil to leave. Neil frowned and the frown did nothing to sour his looks, unbelievable.

“I’m sure you’ll want a minute alone with your loved one. I’ll just go get you some water and some oral meds.” Neil left and closed the door and Andrew let out the breath he was holding and turned to his cousin who was sitting in the chair.

“Nicky, where’s Kevin?”

\--

Andrew was standing in the hallway coming back from the kitchen where he had gotten himself a glass of water.  He felt a little dizzy and it was getting hard to breathe but he was still standing and then the pain in his leg spiked white hot and his knee buckled. Suddenly, he was on the floor. He just wanted help to get back up. It would have taken forever if he’d have to crawl to get to bed. So he shouted to get Kevin’s attention.

“Asshole. Wake up. Kevin. Wake up. Fucker. Wake up.” Andrew could feel the sweat cover his forehead and the back of his neck. This was not good. The big idiot heard Andrew at least and ran to his side.

“Kevin, I think something is wrong. My lungs are doing a piss poor job of breathing,” Andrew said lolling his head so that he was facing Kevin even though he couldn’t quite focus on him. He kept on trying to get his eyes to focus by blinking. But the dizziness was getting seriously in the way.  Kevin started to stand up.

“I’m calling an ambulance,” Kevin said. Andrew grabbed his arm.

“No, wait, I-” Andrew began and was interrupted by the big buffoon.

“Wait? Are you fucking insane?” Kevin put his hand on Andrew’s head.  “Oh God you’re on fire, your head’s on fire.”

“No shit, that's how a fever works.” Andrew rolled his eyes, regretted it, and winced in pain. Jesus this bullshit was making him feel pathetic.

“I don’t want to go to the hospital. I hate hospitals. Get me up so I can go to bed. We’ll call Aaron tomorrow. Just let me go to sleep.” The asshole shrugged out of his grasp. Stupid body, he used to be able to just hold him there. Stupid loss of muscle tone. Stupid disease.

“I’m calling an ambulance,” Kevin said as he left the room. Andrew could always refuse when the thing got there, he was too tired to fight with Kevin right now. Then he felt a pain in his stomach that felt like he was being punched and then a sharp pain lower like in his groin. He had to go to the bathroom, urgently.

“Kevin stop that nonsense and help me up. Fuck, Kevin, I have to go the bathroom. I don’t want to go the hospital. I just have to go to the bathroom.” Andrew’s bowels did not wait and blood and shit poured out of him. In that moment he couldn’t tell what he hated more, his traitorous body or Kevin. Andrew closed his eyes and Kevin entered the room.

“Andrew? They’ll be here in-- Oh my God,”  Kevin said as he was instantly by Andrew’s side. “There’s blood,” Kevin said trying to prop Andrew up.

“You’re useless,” Andrew intoned, “Don’t touch that,” he reprimanded and he passed out.

When the ambulance came Kevin rode to the hospital with Andrew. They headed to the hospital where Andrew worked with his brother. The staff admitted Andrew fast and by 1:00 am he was set up in a room with an IV drip of antibiotics and fluids. The nurse working on him was a friend of Aaron’s fiance, her name is Emily. Emily turned to Kevin.

“He’ll be alright,” she reassured him. But it was a lie and they both knew it. He wouldn’t be alright. This was the beginning of the end.

“No he won’t,” Kevin replied unable to hear the lie, not tonight.

“No. I guess not. I gave him something that makes him sleep,” the nurse conceded. But the idea of a sedative perked Kevin up.

“Deep sleep?” Kevin asked with a little too much hope in his voice.

“Orbiting the moons of Jupiter.” Kevin nodded he was relieved. He couldn’t talk to Andrew tonight, couldn’t face him tonight. He knew it was selfish. Andrew hated anything that dulled his senses after what happened to him with the courts.

“Are you his uh…?” She gestured with her hands.

“Yes, I’m his uh,” Kevin said duly. Not being able to look at Andrew with the oxygen mask on and the tubes in his body.

“This must be hell for you,” she said well-meaningly and squeezed Kevin’s shoulder in support.

“It is. A frozen hell,” Kevin said in hollow voice.

“Yeah, well. We all get to break our hearts on this one. He seems like a nice guy. Cute,” Emily tried again.

“Not like this. Yes, he is. Was. Whatever. Will he sleep through the night?” Kevin asked again far too hopeful. Feeling as though he was suffocating in the hospital room.

“At least,” the nurse told him. Kevin grabbed his coat and scarf.

“I have to go. Tell him, if he wakes up and you’re still on, tell him goodbye, tell him I had to go.” With that, the nurse gave him a nod and her mouth tightened and Kevin left to go to the nearest bar. He stopped at a pay phone before entering the bar to call Nicky and tell him what happened. And then entered the bar and drank until he forgot his own name.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this and want to talk to me hmu on tumblr @ CrppledGayWitchMagic.tumblr.com.  
> You should also send my beta some love @ battgvrl.tumblr.com.


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